Saboteurs come from your strengths, not from childhood trauma
Some people think that when we speak about a saboteur, which is developed in childhood, that we are speaking about some kind of trauma and talking about therapy. Ninety-percent of the time, that is not the case. The most fully-functioning individuals on this planet have saboteurs - and only twenty percent of all of us have figured out how to handle saboteurs in such a way that they reach their true potential.
The truth is, saboteurs come from our natural strengths. As a child, you had some gifts. It just made sense to lean into those more fully-developed gifts because you got results. However, like the metaphor of the hammer, we begin to see everything as a nail - as a problem to be solved by that gift we’ve developed. And when we begin to apply our talents and gifts to situations that require a different set of skills, our saboteur emerges, promising us that if we lean in harder, the strategy will eventually work. What kid doesn’t want to play into their strengths? It sounds like it makes sense even to us adults. And it does. So we continue to lean in, having developed the habit as a kid, into adulthood. Until we catch ourselves and see the saboteur.
Brother Joe Maniglia to this day likes to poke fun about how in my years at Geneseo some brothers called me “the most laid-back brother.” Whether it was true or not, I do think that I am a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. This has allowed me to be adaptable and has served me in many ways. I’ve lived and slept in the favelas of Brazil. I’ve delivered workshops in Sao Paulo.
But my tendency has also created one of my chief saboteurs- the Avoider. Not everything requires a go-with-the-flow attitude. And when a problem isn’t best served by my “laid-back” attitude, my Avoider saboteur lies to me that the problem isn’t meaningful enough to require my attention, or that if I ignore the problem, I can continue with my “flow.” Try that attitude with your finances. It doesn’t work so well.
If I am not aware of this saboteur, I can’t even see it at work, and I just believe the lies. Now, I can see dozens of times in my past that the Avoider has stepped in and kept me from handling something meaningful. Now, when the Avoider pops up, which it does almost daily, I follow the three steps of mental fitness. Sometimes I am successful. I keep getting better at it.
So the saboteur is nothing to be ashamed about or to hide from. It’s something to acknowledge and not give permission to.
Find out what your chief saboteurs are here: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/
Friday, June 26th is the deadline to register for the discounted, only-for-Geneseo-Sig-Eps mental fitness program. I’m only asking that each brother contribute $200 for the $1000 program, delivered by the Positive Intelligence organization - a savings of $800. Details here: https://manifestara.com/sig-ep-geneseo-pq-program.
I’ll be hosting the Monday-night Zoom meetings and answering any questions. Hope you’ll join us.
Andy Della Rocca, Class of 1998